The Disease To Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome Paperback – February 13, 2002

I found Dr. Braiker's books by reading <Who is Pulling Your Strings>, out of desperation to understand all the pressure I felt from others. I really appreciate Dr. Braiker for writing this book and let the "good people" see how their people-pleasing thinking and behavior have undermined themselves as a person of value. If you suffer from anxiety, it probably comes from pressure you felt from other people and your people-pleasing mindset.If you do not fix the faulty thinking of people-pleasing at all costs, you would be permanently thinking your life's value is depending upon others, and you would not have the courage to face conflict, anger and would avoid confrontation at all costs.As a nice person, I have been a target for manipulators, some of them are family members and friends. Those people use words to give approval and then use me. This have to change to de-stress myself. I found this book about how to cure the off-balanced situation of putting others first at the expense of self, and it's just the beginning of setting things right in face of all the self-entitled others, including bosses, co-workers, relatives, spouse and friends. I'm glad while reading this book , the rashes on my leg (due to pressure) has gone away. Highly recommend it to adults who suffers from people pleasing problem due to years of influencing by people and institutions.

Need to please to continue to accept what is giving to you. Informative information and easy reading. Great, to help all types of people.

The first chapter was heavy to get through I’ll admit. But this book has completely changed my life. I actually carry it around with me to remind myself to continue to work on breaking my people pleasing habits. I bought this book when I was at my lowest and it has given me so many ways to actually work on my people pleasing. It has also helped me to understand the roots of my disease to please and helped to show me how my people pleasing was affecting not just me but my children as well. Thank you so much for writing this book!

The Disease to Please is a helpful book to promote positive behavior change. Most people to some extent have difficulty with pleasing others, conflict, and saying no assertively. Braiker does a nice (to use her least favorite word) job in explaining the difficulties people have in over pleasing others and under valuing the self. She covers in detail how overworking to please others really ends up harming everyone because in the end the people pleaser gets spread too thin to be of help to anyone. The book is based on the premise of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) using the three pillars of feelings, thoughts, and behaviors covering the different ways people struggle with people pleasing. I like that she covered topics such as the fear of anger/conflict, romantic addiction, and not being able to say no to requests of friends/relatives. Everyone can benefit in some way from the information and advice she gives in the book- as CBT has shown to be beneficial across the board. If more people were proficient in ways to say 'no' to requests in a empathetic and caring way but without guilt and apology, people would struggle less with conflict and arguments.She also provides a 21 day action plan of behavioral exercises to get you on the road to better communication and better self care. Her explanations are well written and she gives a lot of good examples in the 'diadactic' first part of the book. The only real complaint I have, and the reason for 4 stars, is that her examples are lacking in the 21 day action plan- the 'hands-on' second part of the book. While she provides instructions for how to apply the behavior modification techniques, examples of others applying them to different situations would be tremendously helpful in seeing the techniques in action. Also, having an underlying story line of how others are affected by the problem- and then use the techniques to overcome it- keeps the reader more engaged as opposed to just reading instructions.I was saddened to find out that Dr. Braiker passed away in 2004 (this book has a 2001 copyright) when attempting to visit the website that is mentioned in the book as having a support group and further links to more behavior exercises. No doubt this is why the website is more of a memorial site now and does not have the mentioned added activities/ support group.Overall, it is a good book to help with behavior change. I recommend it if you need help with these types of problem behaviors.

This book was recommended to me by a friend. I’m so thankful she told me about it. This book brought so many things into perspective for me. I have always felt that I should always put everyone above me. That was the right thing and the kind thing to do. I’m turn I was hurting myself and those around me because I was making myself unhappy trying to make everyone else happy.I highly recommend this book. Not just to those that feel the need to please everyone. I recommend it for everyone!

Its a really really good read i do recommend reading it

This book is neccessary for everyone to read. It is a quick read, funny as you think the book was written by someone videotaping you life! Best of all the quick and easily techniques are EASY and will change you outlook on yourself, understand why others treat you the way they do and have the skill now to stop allowing it to happen and most of all you find your true self again!! And amazing enough, I have had over 43 clients read and I always remember the day they walk into the office and say I really saw ME in the mirror this morning and I like ME!!! Worth it all.

Great title...well written...and nice design. This book is really geared toward those who have yet to discover they are struggling with approval addiction. It lays out very well all the symptoms, thoughts, and feelings one may have and experience when craving approval.If you already know you struggle with this problem, it can become frustrating sifting through all the symptoms to get to the solutions (which are too brief) of how to handle various situations. It might have helped in the design of the book to have designated "Ta-Da!" moments or very clear "here's the solution" boxes. Otherwise, you can miss them once you move into scanning mode.There is definitely helpful content, but the book overall is a ground-rule double rather than a homerun.