The Lost Art of Listening, Second Edition: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

I bought this for my wife. She just loves to read and guess what, she loves to talk.... all the time. What a great fit and seemed like a match made in heaven. Sometimes people talk so much that they don't know how to listen. After she threw it at me, she picked it up and actually started to read it. This was a good read for the talkers and listeners alike, we all got something out of it.

I am really not the self-help type, but this is probably one of the best books ever on how to communicate with others - be it your partner, children, parents, friends, co-workers - simply everyone. The key is listening - a remarkably difficult skill to develop it turns out. I had the old print version (and loved it) and decided to re-purchase it for my kindle to take on vacation. I was surprised and delighted to see that it had been updated and while some of the text is still the same and a smidgen is now a bit dated (i.e. referring to a book from the 90s) it really doesn't matter because the ideas are so very powerful and timeless. Plus they have added exercises which are simple, but surprisingly difficult because it turns out that listening, really listening is so very hard. Yet it works - whenever I am mindful and really try to listen, the response is almost miraculous.I highly recommend this volume, indeed cannot recommend it highly enough, and go back to it whenever I feel myself slipping - especially with my spouse. It turns out people just want to be heard and while it does not solve everything, it is a helluva start.

My wife and I studied this incredible book together. Unlike many other books we've read together, we didn't rust through this one. We paused frequently to discuss what we were reading, which enhanced our learning even more. We've learned so much!

“The Lost Art of Listening” should probably be a desk book for any person, who ever wanted to be listened to or needed to listen to someone else. That is – for anyone. Listening is such a fundamental part of our everyday encounters, but it has far-reaching consequences for our relationships - and lives by helping form our attachment styles that determine our sense of self and how we communicate with others or determining how successful our friendships and romantic partnerships will be.An interesting trend among the reviewers I have noticed is that many are students, educators or counselors. I am also a communication student, so this book fit wonderfully into the existing theoretical framework that I had by also providing highly detailed, practical advice. One of the major strength of the book is that it makes material very easy to digest, despite the seeming density and looming 300 pages. Quotes, summarizing the main points, examples for the writer’s own life and from the lives of his patients and exercises at the end of the chapter are great for self-reflection and for practicing what you have learned.However, because the author tries to appeal to readers outside of psychology and communication disciplines, some details might seem unnecessary or sometimes a little simplistic, maybe because the author tries to avoid using unnecessary terminology – it is not a textbook after all. However, the intent to make it more accessible to all the readers is understandable and admirable. But if you are a scholar, sometimes it is helpful to just go ahead and name something familiar in your head, for example when the author is establishing link between communication and the overall “feeling” of the relationship – whether it is fulfilling or not, speaking about communication climates.I found the book to flow well and make numerous effective connections to real life through situations and dialogues (or monologues, if the receiver is not listening). I think the best aspect of this book is that even though it might require mental work from the reader, it has a transformative power: to be able to listen to yourself a little better, to communicate with co-workers or family members, to take responsibility for how you handle conflicts to be heard and hear – beyond just having the sound waves hit your eardrums.Once again, I highly recommend this book, especially if you have some prior knowledge of psychology or interpersonal communication: it is written in a very accessible way, flows well and provides very tangible advice.

Learning to truly listen is a lost art. Often we quickly access the assumed content of what someone is saying and begin the process of forming our answer. Unfortunately we stop listening when we are busy with our own line of thought.Example:Speaker: I have been hurting this past week....Listener: Whenever I have pains I find it best to use XX drug which really relieves all my pains.The speaker in this instance was referring to an emotional pain from the loss of a loved one which has nothing to do with medication to relieve the symptoms. The speaker just needed someone to LISTEN and be present, but the listener failed.This book will give great insights to how to be a better listener in many given situations.Often the best response from the listener is SILENCE.

Hands-down the most impressive book on communication I've ever read. Granted that may be a shorter list than others, But I have gained insights on communicating and being the type of listener I need to be and should have been long before now. This is an amazing book.

This book WILL change your life and the lives of everyone you touch. I listened to it on Audible.com, which was ideal, because the audio version is well narrated and can truly "sink in" more than text can. It covers much more than what one would expect from a "listening" self-help book. It is not just about "active listening" with playback to the speaker every few minutes. It is about deep listening and truly "getting" what someone else needs. Everyone playing the role of spouse, parent, child, teacher, employer, or friend should read this book and put its wise ideas into practice!

Was a Christmas gift, and seems to be good book, has made improvements in their ability to listen better.

Spectacularly well written. Quite easy to understand. Covers couples, friends, children. Insightful, thought provoking, helpful, and a relationship changer! "Listening is a gift, not a need..." A truly poignant book. Could recommend it more. Listening is kind.

I picked up this book after reading a Tom Peters book a bout leadership. I found thé perspective it has given me really interesting. Recommended.

Good book! In great condition

Better than I expected. This book really nails down every aspect of the listening process, and through multiple real life examples, drives each point home in a clear manner. I found myself paying much more attention to different dialogue dynamics going on around me, going through things in my head to speak in a less defensive way, truly pay attention to others and take on whatever criticism that comes your way without the knee jerk reaction.We are so bad at listening these days, and I've been trying for years to improve my listening skills through various methods (exercises online, noting things down, practicing my memory, doing The Listening Program 15 mins sessions every day, DIDMBT? (did I do my best today?), etc), and while I've improved through this, in the last few months this book has done more than all of the previous efforts I made. I've been struggling with paying proper attention and listening to what other people say without putting it through my distortion filter where instead of taking what is said at face value I will interpret badly what the person means.This is well written and an easy read, and the observations provided in the book are very easy to relate to and to translate it into our own lives. You will find yourself wanting everyone around you to read this book as well in the hopes they too, will improve on some key points. My partner has noticed the clear progress in my listening and overall interactions, so this is a real positive in my life. For many people out there, picking up this book might just avoid you running to the local psychologist for help in some spheres of you life, as it will bring you much needed insight and a new perspective on your behavior and the relationships around you.I love reading self-help type books, and this one is probably the one that provided me with the most help. I'm now going to purchase the audiobook version as well so I can quickly get a second reading in and get the material to sink in even more. Thank you Dr. Nichols!