The New Dare to Discipline

The novel "The New Dare to Discipline" by Dr. James Dobson is a well written book filled with lessons from life. The author sense of direction for discipline is beneficial for parents. The back of the book does not do it justice, nor the front. I had to read this wonderful book for my child philosophy class last semester. My first thought was oh great a book with nothing but pages about lecturing a child. To my surprise the book had questions from parents and Dr. Dobson unique replies. "The New Dare to Discipline" is designed to assist parents in the right direction for disciplining his or her child.Dr. Dobson is his own character in this novel and he goes into descriptive details about breaking down the word discipline. He does not suggest that a parent should taunt, smack, mock, or scream at their child. He explains that mocking or ignoring their child will destroy the respect that one has for another. Their bond will be damaged and the child will grow to be ignorant and hurtful towards others. Nothing unhealthy is right in Dr. Dobson mind when it comes to disciplining children. He suggest that when a parent or parents are being disrespected by their kin to win decisively.I found this book very helpful for my future for when I have children. In my opinion I find that this book will be more helpful for new parents. I only say this because I feel that newbies will benefit more from this book. They will learn how to correct their children the right way without any doubt. Dr. Dobson helps prepare parents when their cute wide eye child tries to get away with things.Dr. Dobson is like a ghostly hand helping parents find their way. He discusses how parents should work as a team to be a stronger figure for their kin. Children will grow into a responsible and respectful adult when parents stand together. If one parent punishes the child and the other allows some slips to happen, the child will disrespect the other parent. Many parents do this today. Parents can also relate to Dr. Dobson with his real life stories which ease the parents mind. Like the time his mother punished him for laughing in her face when she tried to punish him. She whipped him so quick that he was taught to never disrespect her again. In all, Dr. Dobson helps each parent find their way to making a stronger bond between them and their kin, and gaining respect for one another.

To read some of the other reviews here it sounds like this is a how to book on beating your child. Fortunately I decided to read this book and make up my mind for myself. This is not a "spanking book". This is a book about teaching a child discipline at home and school. One of the methods Dr. Dobson advocates is spanking, but this is definitely not the only means he mentions! Along with other non-physical negative reinforcements, he also lists and promotes many different positive reinforcements you can use with your child.I would recommend this book even to someone who never plans on spanking their kids, not because I think they'll get talked into spanking by this book (although he does make a good argument for it), but rather because his method and philosophy could be implemented even without spanking. This book delivers an important message about discipline that I think all parents should rather, regardless of which side of the spanking camp they're on. Basically the most important (but definitely not only) message I got from this was is if your child openly and defiantly decides to challenge your authority, you should win that battle decisively. Spanking is but one method to win that battle. If more children respected their parents' authority our kids would be a lot better off. Of course that assumes the parents are deserving of respect, but if you're taking the time to read parenting book reviews I assume that you are. :)Still not convinced this book that this book isn't only about spanking? In his book Dr. Dobson states that:* All out spankings are not often required.* Spankings should be reserved for a child's moments of greatest antagonism, usually occurring after the third birthday.* As a general guideline, most corporal punishment should be finished prior to first grade.* There are children for whom spanking is not appropriate (he gives specific examples of this, but he also states that "there is no substitute for knowledge and understanding of a particular boy or girl").Lastly, this book isn't solely about discipline. I was also pleasantly surprised by the large amount of time spent addressing problems and solutions that come up during elementary through high school education. There are also sections on sex ed and drugs.

This is a good book and the underlying philosophy of the author is consistent with our parenting approaches. We have read different appoaches so as to have as many tools in our toolbox as possible but the idea of parents being parents first instead of friends is a fairly consistent theme in our house. As indicated in this book, I find that our kids operate better with boundaries and knowing exactly where they are. They seem to crave it and feel loved with the consistency. I am by far the stricter parent but it does not impact the warmth in my relationship with them, if anything it is stronger. Another technique that works well for is us is letting kid know what to expect and when. "In five minutes it will be bathtime and I want you to go in and get your towels ready. Okay bath time...." or "We are going to go home, have some lunch and then it will be naptime. We have to take a nap on time otherwise there won't be time to ......"going to the park etc" before the day is over" If we nap late we will just skip going to the park because there will be no time. It makes them responsible for keeping the schedule which is less stress on mom. I do wish it had a few more specific examples of exactly how to deal with some behaviors---whining at church or kids saying embarassing or impolite things or acting silly, dumper and shy when they know what is being asked.