I Hate You—Don't Leave Me MP3 CD – Unabridged, November 18, 2014

I was once in a relationship with a woman who exhibited all the signs of borderline personality disorder (BPD): uncontrollable, inappropriate anger; impulsivity; self-harming; projection; splitting; idealization and devaluation; and many more were characteristic of my time with her.I walked on eggshells constantly, always either in combat during her rages or, feeling like her happier moments were merely cease-fires whose duration were always short and correctly anticipated to be so.I ended the relationship, believing my ex to be an evil reptilian person who didn't know the meaning of the word "empathy."But I also didn't know about the ways family and others in relationships with a borderline can cope with the borderline's behavior. The SET-UP technique described by the author could certainly have helped me address my ex's episodes more effectively and more proactively than gearing up for battle and, ultimately, walking away.The advances in psychotherapies and even in medication (though no medications are specifically indicated for BPD) are helping many borderlines alleviate their symptoms, develop healthier relationships, achieve some degree of remission, and lead lives closer to normal, and show great hope for the future. And "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" discusses these quite thoroughly and optimistically.As I progressed through this book, I often wondered what it would have been like had I stayed in the relationship with my ex, knowing about the various coping methods like SET-UP, and working through family therapy with her (my ex was seeing a therapist during the time we were together, but she told me it was for depression and anxiety, not BPD; I pieced together that she had BPD after the relationship ended). Maybe if I had been a little more patient, a little more firm at maintaining boundaries, and definitely a little more supportive and empathic, we may have been able to achieve a longstanding, happy relationship.One last thing: if you're the type who stops reading the book at the last chapter and doesn't venture into reading the appendices of a book, you may want to break from that routine for this book. Appendix B provides a great discussion of how the borderline personality disorder diagnosis evolved. Definitely worth reading.Whether you're a student of psychology, a practicing therapist, a borderline struggling to stop the pain, or a family member or relationship partner of a borderline, you will find "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me," an informative, helpful resource in stopping the pain of this terrible disorder.

could have saved a lot of money and grief, the money I don't care about, the grief was bad.book pretty well written,the explosions I could not understand, treated my girl like a queen, asked her why she would blow up and I treated her like a goddess . she would only say she was defending herself, I said against what, loving you and doing every thing in my power to make your life better, she used some of the same words in the book, one was poppy the sailor man,, I am what I am,another was over frying a egg and we were on a vacation in the U-P OF Michigan riding a motor cycle every day, I fried a egg and she was in the shower, she came out and looked at me and started going off on me, you selfish Ba****, you S.O.B , I said whoa what the heck is wrong with you. she still ranted so I threw the egg in the trash, said is that good for you now, just like the book said. the crazy jealously, the checking my computers, checking my e mail, it was nuts, if I had this book she would have been gone a lot sooner . she was also violent, pushed me off a stool over backwards, threw things. , she could not be reasoned with, she just got worse, knew her for 42 years and I didn't know her, lied about every thing and I mean every thing.could type a book myself about the 2 1/2 years , at least Now with this book My mind is more at ease, now I know there was nothing that would ever make it work. for a few bucks for this book I now have Pease of mind

Of all the mental health books I have read, this one has touched me the most. I consumed it quickly at first, turning each page and expecting it to falter but rarely finding it inaccurate. Then I immediately reread it, this time slowly digesting sections, marking it with reckless abandon.This book was recommended to me by my therapist. After years of dealing with a mental health system that had no idea what was going on with me and throwing an endless train of prescriptions my way, it was so incredibly relieving to encounter someone who not only recognized why I behaved the way I was but what resource I could read in order to understand it clearly myself.If you indeed have a borderline personality, this book may leave a bad taste in your mouth at first. It depends on where you are in terms of seeking treatment. I had long since accepted that something wasn't quite right inside of me and that I would have to dig deep, examining the nasty bits of myself unflinchingly, in order to lead a more happy, productive life. If you are willing to accept that you are at least vaguely in control of your impulsiveness, mood swings or fears of abandonment then you should read this book.If you know of someone who one day treats you as if you are their savior but then the next turns their back on you and demands you to fulfill some sort of "test" to prove you do care about them, you may also learn a great deal about why they act the way they do from this book in addition to how to behave when their disorders rears it's ugly head.Whether it is you or a loved one who suffers from this often confusing disorder, I Hate You - Don't Leave Me will explain to you with great sensitivity but simultaneously very clearly the many facets of borderline personality as well as how to react to it, whether it is you who must banish the demons or your child/lover/friend who sometimes hurts you with them.