The Queen's Code

As a man reading this book, it does give a deeper insight into what might be going on from my wife's perspective that I would not have ever come up with on my own. This helps me 1 be more compassionate and understanding when it comes to the misunderstandings as man and woman, and 2 also helps me communicate what my needs are as a man more eloquently instead of what may come off as brutish man speak or what ever. Very very good book for men and women both to read.

Great Book! It really gives you a different perspective on men. I took lots of notes and I will definitely be re-reading and getting more books from this author.

I highly recommend this book, but I recommend that you first read "the Keys to the Kingdom" because it explains some fundamentals about men that will help make sense of what is taught in this book. The way the story is told in "the Queen's Code" is a continuation of the story that began in "The Keys to the Kingdom" I know several reviews mentioned that this book could have been shorter and written more straight to the point, and yes, that is true However, her writing does have a purpose in that it unravels current belief systems to make room for new belief systems. I don't think that would be possible with a more concise straight to the point writing style. When I was researching the book I stumbled upon a PDF document that took notes on this book, "The Queen's Code." I read through the notes and thought to myself "I already know all of this stuff, so this book isn't going to help me at all." I read "Keys to the Kingdom" instead and I am glad that I did, because I learned a lot and it ended up inspiring me to purchase "The Queen's Code." As I was reading "The Queen's Code" I revisited the PDF with the notes, and suddenly I understood the meaning behind the notes. One example is being open, receptive and vulnerable. Most women know that already and we have an idea of what that might mean and look like from a woman's point of view, but we really don't know what that means from a man's point of view, what being open, receptive and vulnerable does to a man, and what kind of openness, receptiveness and vulnerability men desire. Please don't brush this off as "I know what being open, receptive and vulnerable means." If you've had little success in fulfilling relationships with men, then you truly don't know what being open, receptive and vulnerable means from a man's perspective (amongst other things) and you may benefit from the refreshing perspective and explanation this book offers, along with "The Keys to the Kingdom" You're most likely here because you want something to change and get better, but may not now how, and most of the time, what you're resistant to is most likely going to challenge your core beliefs, and perhaps your core beliefs are the reason you ended up searching for a solution to begin with. My guess is that at this point, you don't have much else to lose and just want things to get better. In that case, I highly recommend you start with "The Keys to the Kingdom" (and please ignore the neutral and negative reviews to that book) and then continue with the "Queen's Code." They complement each other in a beautiful way and work together hand in hand to improve your relationships with men. Please give them a try 🤍 I promise, you will have a shift in perspective & understanding of men, and a shift in behavior, which will positively impact your relationship with men in general.

This book may have *saved my relationship* within 8 hours of my starting the book, and I'm only 15% of the way through it!! First, let me qualify my background, and why I bought this book: I'm an expert on men. No, really. Oh sure, lots of people may say that, but I actually mean that I am a professional expert on men. No, I'm not a lady of the evening, I'm something much lower than that - I'm a lawyer. In fact, I was one of the very first fathers' rights lawyers in the United States, with a career spanning about 30 years working with single fathers, and a *lot* of that was counselling and coaching them. So, I got, very early on, how men communicate, filter, react, share, bottle up (did I mention react) *much* differently than women, and how the translation that takes place between "she speaks, he hears" and "he speaks, she hears" is *so very vital to understand*! (Oh yeah, I'm also an author of a book on men - and coach about the differences between men and women - specifically for single fathers.) I'm also very familiar with what our society is doing to our boys (and causing our women and girls to do to our boys - have you ever seen the "Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them" products? No? Here you go: Boys Are Stupid Throw Rocks At Them t-shirt Think you could get away with a "girls are stupid, throw rocks at them" product line?) I actually heard about this book from a friend who was basically mocking it. That made me curious, so I came to Amazon to look it up. And, based on my work with men, and advocacy for boys, when I saw *men* posting reviews, saying things like "I have to say that this book blew my mind. Having a feminist mother and growing up in a time when men have been looked down upon for being men, I grew up knowing masculine shame," I knew I had to get it and read it. I have to tell you it was *so* refreshing to read another woman who gets it! And who gets that by trying to make men be like women we are not only doing a disservice to men, and screwing up our boys, but that we are doing a disservice to *ourselves* (women). By *honouring* the differences, it allows men to also honour *our* differences. But much more importantly, in this book Armstrong really explains how what we do to men is causing *us* (again, women) so much frustration, resentment, and anger, and robbing us of the joy *we ourselves* can experience. No, this is *not* a Dr. Laura-esque "wrap yourself in saran wrap and submit to your man" book. Not at all. It's a "understand the differences, and speak to his strengths instead of bitching about his weaknesses - which are often *your* perception of 'weakness', and not really a weakness at all - it's a *difference*" book. (Ok, I feel like I'm getting on a soapbox now...let me climb back down (I'm only 5'3, so I need that soapbox).) What is interesting about this book is that rather than a typical "do this, do that" tome, it's a narrative told in the form of a story. Sure, some of it is a little hokey ("frog farmer"? Really?) but the brilliance of this is that it gets the point across in a way that isn't all "do this, do that" or preachy. So, I got the book last night, and started reading it. I got about 15% of the way through (got the Kindle edition, that's how I know). Then I put out the light and went to sleep. This morning, I had a conversation with TMWMITU (The Most Wonderful Man in the Universe). It was a conversation - about a potentially touchy subject - which could have gone very, *very* wrong. But, as the conversation was unfolding I suddenly remembered the things I'd read last night...and ohmygod...this was *exactly* that sort of situation. So I took a deep breath, and practiced what I'd read just 8 hours earlier. Which blew me away because, in case I haven't mentioned it, I've been working in this field for nearly 30 years. But that's the magic of this book - you read it like a story, and it sticks in your head for when you need it. And guess what? ...TAHDAH! What *could* have been an awful, even relationship-ending conversation, instead went down the path of a *fantastic* conversation, with a wonderful resolution, and me feeling closer to him and happier than ever! (Now, wouldn't you like to feel that way?? If your answer is "no", then I submit that you need this book even more, because you may well be holding on to a lot of resentment, and self-righteous anger.) Because this book is truly right in my own wheelhouse of my expertise, I sincerely invite any of you to drop me a line (click on my name and "see more" to find my email address) and ask me any question that you may have, and that you think I could be helpful in answering.

Although I didn’t enjoy the writing style, I do value the information. It does feel dated, and overly emotional, which doesn’t suit my taste. I do appreciate the perspectives that may help women learn to value and appreciate men for being men, and therefore value and appreciate their own womanhood.

My wife and I loved this book. It's written as a story rather than a textbook, which really draws you in. Alison Armstrong, the author, has been amazing for our relationship growth. The clear way she writes cuts through my preconceptions and defenses, helping me understand women. Especially my wife, who has needs and ways of fulfill them that seemed crazy to me. My wife felt the same when she learned about my needs, haha. Once we understood each other, it finally allowed us to give each other what we truly need, not just what I thought she needed from my man's perspective. Surprisingly, it requires much less energy, is more pleasant, and gives outstanding satisfaction to see how your actions positively impact the one you love so much. This book helped me respect and celebrate her femininity and her, my masculinity. Even at Tony Robbins' events, much of what he teaches about relationships comes from Alison's work, and he gives her credit for it. I highly recommend this book and any others by Alison Armstrong.

Illuminating! I am recommending this book to every woman I can think may be open to changing their outlook on men. A lot of hard truths to swallow, but the author reveals them to us in such a compassionate and loving way.

I adore this novel style relationship book!!! It's readable and helpful!

I rarely review books on Amazon (simply because I never seem to have the time) and I have never followed an author on Amazon. Alison Armstrong and her wise and precious teachings have inspired me to do both. And much more. They have also given me the time to do both. . . Because I am learning how to receive in ways I have never experienced before, and this is giving me much more time to be in my life. Both this, and her preceding book ‘Keys to the Kingdom’ (which needs to be read FIRST), are beyond value. Gentle, practical, inclusive and deeply wise, they give men and women back to themselves by helping us to understand the inherent gifts of our sex and that of the opposite sex, and by teaching us how to navigate the differences and communicate effectively within them. Men have become wise and beautiful beings in my eyes, towering sources of strength and kindness who give deep structure to life; women have become magical and mysterious weavers of beauty and meaning, attending and receiving life in ways that enable its warm and wondrous flourishing. I feel grateful for the wisdom of Alison Armstrong who holds both the masculine and feminine in such regard and delivers so much wisdom with so much kindness and humour. The book is written with true skill and mastery and is utterly enjoyable. Part romance consisting of the stories of three couples of varying ages and degrees of commitment, part practical manual for how relationships can deeply work, and part paean to the wonders of both sexes, it is a book to cherish. If you are open to it, it will open you, your heart, your life.

Wow!!! I am blown away by Alison's insight, and wisdom. This is the first time, in a very long time that I've heard the perspective of a woman who genuinely loves, and admires men. I definitely recommend this book to anyone who believes (or wants to believe) that men and women can empower each other and truly become Partners. This book will definitely start you on that path

Even with the best intentions towards men, we still might have habits that make us frog farmers. This story gently help us become aware of these habits and provides us with understanding and alternative practices.

I loved the context, mix between learning and following a story. I've stated to recomend it my friends that believe in the same as the book. It is a 5 star book, deseres a 5 stars.

It's nicely narrated and a very good read for anyone who wants to get to know men better or at least, communicate and co-live with them better. I am sure that there are exceptions to many men, but it is certainly helpful for any woman who cannot understand why her communication with another man is staggering.