And I Darken

5 stars! “I am no longer the daughter of the dragon.” She lifted her chin, sights set on the horizon. “I am the dragon.” Oh sweet book feels! This book managed to combine fantasy with historical fiction set in young adult while being heavily historical but also accurate and highly entertaining. While I was reading this I kept pausing, to let this amazing story sink in and every time I would squeal with glee, its so amazing, it’s beautiful and everything a book should be frankly. This is the story of Vlad The Impaler, if he was a girl. I’m getting goosebumps writing this, I swear! As the baby latched on with surprising fierceness, the nurse offered her own prayer. Let her be strong. Let her be sly. And let her be ugly. Born in 1435 in Transylvania to Vlad Dracul Prince of Wallachia aka Vlad the Dragon and Vasilissa Princess of Moldavia, named Ladislav the feminine form of Vlad, we meet Lada – soon to be the female Vlad The Impaler. Her father had no use for a daughter, apart from a good marriage, but Lada from a very young age showed she is not to be underestimated. “I am your father. But that woman is not your mother. Your mother is Wallachia.” I often request more badass heroines, that are not badass only for show, heroines that do stuff, heroines that are fierce and Lada is 100% that heroine. She’s a badass from birth, practically unwanted by her awful father and abandoned by her weak mother that couldn’t stand up to Vlad, she became her own person from day 1 and was never going to settle. She was contrary and vicious and the meanest child the nurse had ever cared for. But in Lada she saw a spark, a passionate, fierce glimmer that refused to hide or be dimmed. And so Lada grew up, with a brother she didn’t care for and a person she treated like a brother. It was a good build up for what’s to come to see her childhood in such detail. Sort of like an origin story. I’m a huge fan of historical fiction, but also I’m extremely picky because I want there to be accuracy and kudos to the author for all the research, finally all these years of history lessons paid off because this blew my mind! IAMTHEDRAGON Lada as a character is fierce. Unlike most dystopian books that try to make the heroine want to be more than is what is expected of a woman, this one had the history to back it up, I can’t stress this enough. All around her, she sees the way the world is build, only fit for a man, and her brother, well he is not born to be a warrior for sure, but that’s all she wants, she wants more than to just sit and wait for whatever future her father arranges for her. She’s mad. She’s pissed at the limited choices she has and she fights back, there’s not a single moment that she gives up or changes her views. “I am not something to be kept! Next you will tell me you want to keep me behind walls, keep me in padded, perfumes rooms, keep me here. I am not your concubine, Mehmed!” The story takes place is Eastern Europe which is so rare to find, a lot of readers might be afraid to branch out of the usual setting for YA but trust me, this book went were no book would dare to go. I’m not big on religion in books and the author didn’t “take sides”, there are so many religions mentioned, and it was done in a clever way from Lada’s POV that she didn’t care much for, so there’s only enough to get the readers in that time period. After Transylvania, Lada and her brother Radu are sort of taken to Edirne, northwestern Turkey near Greece and Bulgaria. This amazing journey is so historically accurate – or as accurate fiction and history combined can be – that I got chills. Christianity, Islam, harems, the entire Ottoman empire and actual historical figures come to play. We see her training with Janissaries and it’s amazing. But also, love. It’s definitely not your typical YA love. No triangle whatsoever. While in Edirne, Lada and her brother befriend Mehmed The Second. There’s a complex relationship between the three of them that is so fascinating. “None of them are real to me. You are the only real thing in my life.” I’m very much interested in what this story will develop to, there’s only enough romance to make me crave more. But Lada? I ♥ her His mouth answered hers. It felt like fighting. It felt like falling. It felt like dying. This book is only a small teaser of what is next to come – at least historically speaking – the bar is set so high I’m terrified of the next one. This is my first book from the author but I’m counting down the days for the next one! Don’t be afraid to branch out, if you ever though about reading a more historical YA story, this is it! “Souls and thrones are irreconcilable.”

I had a bit of a slow go at the beginning. I thought the first couple chapters dragged a bit; but after that, the story starts to unfurl and it's riveting. I admit that I could not put it down. It was tortuously brutal and more than a little unsettling. The characters themselves were cruel, rough, and in Ladislav's case, murderous. There were chapters that yanked my heart out and tore it to shreds, and there were chapters that just killed me. White wove this story together with lies, pain, and daggers and it was simply brilliant. "And that is why you become a dealer in death. You feed death as many people as you can to keep it full and content so its eye stays off you." Action wise, I don't feel like there was a lot going on in this book. Yes, the plot skips along, people die, there are wars, murders, romance, etc. But, all that seems to be background crap while what drives the book are the characters and their relationships. The characters are rich and dynamic; they are singularly unique and each one has a truly compelling story. Especially Ladislav and Radu. Ladislav. Yes, this girl can be a monster and she does some pretty awful things. But does this make her bad or unlikeable? Of course not. She wasn't born a monster, she had to become one to survive. Her father was ruthlessly uncaring while her mother was a vacant, husk of a woman; both of whom abandoned her at a young age. Her younger brother was exact opposite of her making it extremely difficult for them to connect on any level. Her only friend was ripped from her at a young age leaving her emotionally alone. She had no one to look up to or count on. Not to mention that she's a woman in a time where no one thinks women should have a place in the world. But she never let that defeat her or let anyone tell her she was less. "I am not one of you," Lada said, her mouth right next to his ear. "I am better." So of course she turned a little monstrous. Of course she had a some venom to her words. Of course she fought back against those who wronged her. She had to because no one else was going to fight for her. She had to learn at a very young age to be tough and show no weakness; to do whatever it takes to have the things she wants. She learned that the world isn't given to those who deserve it, it's taken by those who conquer it. A dragon burned everything around herself until it was purified in ash. Although she was extremely fierce, extremely rude, and at times sort of unlikable, she still had feelings. She may not have known how to express them, but she felt them all the same. Her moments with her brother Radu were always heart wrenchingly bittersweet. Those first couple of chapters, before we really learned who she was or why she was like that, I honestly thought she was a monster for how she treated Radu. But then we meet her family and understanding dawns; the only kind person she knows is her brother and he gets sh*t on constantly for it because everyone sees this as his weakness. So when we have the tender moments where she tries her damndest to be kind to him the best way she knows how, it just crushes me with overwhelming feelings. "If anyone is going to kill you, it will be me. Understand?" Radu nodded, snuggling into her shoulder. "Will you protect me?" "Until the day I kill you." Radu. At first I really disliked him. It's not that I saw him as weak, but just that he was incapable of taking care of himself. This world was too dark and twisty for him, and if he couldn't find a way to stand by himself in it, he would die or be the death of his sister. The latter of which was completely unacceptable to me and the other I could've dealt as long as they didn't drag it on through the whole book. Luckily for everyone, he learned how to turn his weakness into his strength. Where Ladislav was blunt and brutal, Radu was quick and conniving. Where Ladislav was closed off to the world, Radu was open and understanding. He saw things that she never would. But he also saw the world full of it's lies and schemers and decided that he didn't want to lay claim to it. And I feel like this is the fundamental difference between the two. Ladislav was constantly trying to prove herself and battle her way into the world; whereas Radu just wanted to be happy and content with where he was and the people he was with. "But-we have to stay together. We are all we have against this empire." Radu opened his door, looking above her head. "Your mistake is in assuming we both view them as an enemy." I feel like Radu saw the value in things and he tried so desperately to find the meaning in life. I think he really struggled with how easily Ladislav was able to make a place for herself and yet be completely out of sync with everyone and everything around her. He was constantly trying to see the best in everyone and she was constantly trying to destroy everyone. Which was probably both overwhelming and frightening to Radu as their futures always seemed inexplicably tied together. "You once told me some lives are worth more than others. How many deaths before the scales tip out of our favor?" She had no answer. And then we meet Mehmed. I knew this would be the love interest the minute he was introduced; and the source of so much pain and discontent. Lada and Radu's relationship was hard enough the way it was. Then you throw in navigating a court of enemies and a prince who needs constant protection and attention. Things were bound to get sticky. And through it all, Lada was the only one who really understood the precarious situation they were in. She was the one who kept all of them alive. They all knew they were living in a court of vipers and yet Lada was the only one who had any common sense when it came to protecting them. Sure, Radu helps in his sly and sneaky way, but it's still Lada who constantly puts her life on the line to save them. "But hands painted red are hands that do what needs to be done." And I absolutely hated the way Mehmed treated her like she was a fragile woman who had to be protected when it was really the other way around. I hated that he ran off to war and left her behind; Lada, who had trained almost every day for forever to be the best and conquer anything that crossed her path. Did he so easily forget that she had been saving his *ss since day one?! But she forgets to stand up for herself. This is clearly the weakest point in her life. She wants so desperately to go back to Wallachia. She wants to build her kingdom and protect her home and it's people. She wants to matter and have something to care for. She wants to prove that she has a place in this world where men rule everything. And she's basically free and could easily leave, but she lets this prince with his feeble hold, keep her. She lets herself be penned up as a prize for him. She lets him do this because she so desperately wants someone to care about her. It would be exactly what he deserved, to die without knowing, because he left her behind. And I hated how after Mehmed joined the group Radu seemed to despise Lada for everything she did. She was trying to keep them safe. She was trying to protect them. And she was caring for both of them the best way she could. And yet you could see how their relationship just disintegrated with every action she took. He was the most kind and considerate character in the book; always forgiving. But after Mehmed came along I feel that he just gave up on Lada. And maybe, if he had just communicated with her, it would have all been resolved. If they had just gotten to the real issue sooner, perhaps they wouldn't have parted. (And let's not forget that it's Lada who leaves in the end to give Radu his chance at happiness when she finally understands the root of the problem.) So Radu let Mehmed come between them and I am extremely anxious to see how well that works out for him in the next book. Especially since Mehmed seems so lost and oblivious to everything going on around him. I mean, Lada and Radu were constantly lying, scheming or murdering to keep him safe and in power. And yet he never realizes it. And I don't feel like he was a very good friend to either of them. He was always relying on them to be there for him and take care of him, but what had he really done for them? When did he go out of his way to help protect or save them? When did he use his power or influence to give them what they wanted? When did he even ask them what it was that they wanted? As for Lada, I have no doubt that she will go on to conquer the world and claim whatever she desires. Conclusion: There are no happy endings here. Only a path of blood and betrayal. Rating: 4.5

An awesome book! I love the Ottoman empire, and this novel does it justice. While, if I'm not mistaken, it's marketed as a YA novel, it seems a bit dark for younger adolescent readers. The summary also indicates a love triangle, but the developing of love, especially between Lada and Mehmed, is barely seen at all. However, the plot and how well-written it was made this such a worthwhile book.

La historia es una reinterpretación de la historia de Vlad Dracul, mismo que inspiro la historia de Dracula, pero esta vez imaginado como si Vlad fuera una mujer. Tenia la idea de que la historia sera de vampiros y de fantasia, es una historia con hechos históricos que me hizo aprender tanto del imperio otomano, como del personaje en el que se inspiro la historia. A pesar de no ser lo que esperaba, no me decepciono para nada, ame a la protagonista Lada, es toda una guerrera que lucha por mantenerse fiel a sus principios a pesar de que las circunstancias la llevan a querer hacer lo contrario. El libro llego en buenas condiciones, solo un detallito en la portada, como que se raspo con algo, pero casi no se nota.

Historia muy entretenida

Bra pris och snabb leverans

And I Darken is not the book you may expect. This premise may sound weird but i think this is not a book for everyone. I loved the detailed historical part and the beautiful writing. And here is the first problem. If you don’t like history as much as i do that may sound a bit boring. If you thinks this is a Ya, where characters at the end of the story love each others and forget about everything else… i’m afraid you won’t like it at all. This is the kind of historical fantasy book where war is all over, nowhere is safe and you can’t trust no one. There is no Dracula with fangs and blood. There is no Vlad the Impaler to lead any army but you meet Lada, young, fierce, merciless and who likes violence to see blood on her hands. She’s psychotic, mad maybe and apparently heartless. And you meet her brother, the sensible Radu. He’s scared, handsome and delicate. Their relationship is a mess. They don’t understand each other and live out of jealousy and misunderstanding. And then comes war, more war, a faraway land, a traitorous father and a fascinating young sultan and the difficulties of the court life. All this complicated but enthralling plot was beautifully written by Kirsten White, with such an ease and elegance i’m still a bit in awe. This book was epic! It’s gory, dark, violent and raw. It was also totally honest. I’ve read a few books where diversity is a big part of the story (well maybe not big, but it influences much the events), realistically put in a context without being forced (read between the lines). I’m not talking about homosexuality only, i also add to the list religion, sex, different cultures… It was honest and not judgmental, it was real life. If i have to name one flaw out of And I Darken it might be the lack of empathy with the main characters. Lada is difficult, she’s aggressive and always angry, she trusts no one. She’s the anti-hero. Maybe in the next episodes, the connection will click a little bit more. But to me, this book remains extremely precious. I love extremely detailed and well written historical fiction and i loved such a loose cannon like Lada.