Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition

I think the book is excellent - I've already recommended it to numerous people. Internal Family Systems is the best thing I'm come across in the psych world in the course of reading a fair number of psych books in my 44 years, and this book by Earley does a great job of explaining it. IFS is not the simplest thing in the world to explain in writing, yet the book nails it by combining clear illustrations, good organization and thoughtful writing. It also has numerous exercises you can do yourself. And a section of tips on doing IFS with a partner, and on working with a therapist. The book is written to be accessible to the general public, which is the only broad-based introductory IFS book I know of yet that is in good measure written for the public (i.e. not written for therapists). It's largely written for the person who will be going through therapy or wants to practice IFS on their own or with a partner. I think even having the awareness of the concepts and info will help most people, even if they don't do the exercises. The great thing about the above is it gives IFS a better chance of making a bigger impact on the world than is possible simply through therapists. There are only so many therapists, and only some know much IFS and relatively few have been trained in it, or are now slated to be trained. Besides letting more people do it on their own, I think IFS therapists in general will benefit from it because I think a good number of people who read it and find IFS appealing will at some point in the upcoming years of their life will go to an IFS therapist to experience the added benefits of therapy or tackle harder things that need a therapist. Kind of like how the Grateful Dead became the highest grossing tour band in the U.S. because they let people record their concerts and share copies for free. More people got copies of the music, liked it and then went to concerts, bought t-shirts and bought CDs. The more people who are introduced to IFS through books like this, the more the average IFS therapist will have people knocking on their door looking to do it. One small note is that while the tagline of the book mentions "healing your inner child," my impression is that according to IFS and to the author (Earley) and my own experience of myself, most people are healing several inner parts of themselves, including some adult parts that are not serving them well. While I don't care about sub-titles, I thought I would mention the above to clarify in case it's needed for anyone that this is not some half-baked new age book talking only about healing an inner child. As the first half of the tagline conveys, IFS works with all parts of our personality, and tries to get all aspects of who we are more healthy to better serve us. Healing the childish parts of us that are often unconscious is certainly an important part of the process, and the book is a multi-dimensional approach to those parts and other parts of who we are. In case you haven't heard of IFS, it is a respected psychological system and is used primarily by licensed therapists and clinics, and recommended by many respected leaders in the field. The founder of it was the co-author of one of the best selling textbooks on marriage and family therapy used by universities, and who taught at one of the top schools in the country. It's not a passing fad and not a new-age gimmick with the aim of selling books. IFS is not family therapy - Schwartz used the systematic thinking common in family therapy to discover that we have our own internal set of sub-personalities or parts that combine to form who we are. Often some of the parts are on track and some are not, and need some assistance from us in coming to serve us better. The book focuses on how you can learn what the parts of yourself are, how they operate, and how you can help them learn and mature to become better at serving you. Doing so takes time. Don't expect to read this book or any book, and have easy answers or have most things figured out just like that. It takes ongoing time and attention. My guess is that most people will need to read the book again in a year and delve deeper in the second time. Overall, the writing in Self-Therapy is lucid and understandable, without dumbing down. I think the book would also be helpful to therapists looking for a strong intro to IFS, or to therapists who know some about IFS and want to know more. When you consider that the founder Richard Schwartz was able to help a lot of people when he first started doing IFS, and it was only part-way developed when he first started doing it and he had no book with lots of details explaining it to help him, I would assume that a high quality therapist could read this book and begin using some of the concepts in their practice. If you click on my profile, you'll see that I'm a real person, and that I give things poor ratings as well as good ones, and that I don't often give something such a strong review. If you stumbled across this book while surfing the net, I strongly recommend you plop down the small cost to get it. It might well change your life. And at the least, I think almost all people will get at least $15 of value from it, enough to be worth the cost. It's very rare that I find a book I can say that about.

Well....first of all, before I say anything, a 5-Star rating just has to be awarded to this book. Wow, Jay has really covered the subject masterfully, you couldn’t really ask for more of an author. So thank you Jay for working through the writing of this, it seems as though it must have taken a lot of careful effort to do so. And so on to my personal reflections....first, I’d like to say that IFS is paradoxically amazing. Why paradoxically? Because the model could so easily be accused of being a big placebo, silliness really, no science, make believe, etc. And yet, no - it really does have a power and an efficacy like nothing else I’ve ever encountered in the world of psychological therapy. For a as yet mysterious reason, it really does work. But yes, if you’re a logical scientific skeptic you may feel yourself needing to just give in to the imagery and allow your rational mind to step back from analysis...which will in return allow you to experience a much different and more effective form of understanding your internal and even external problems. So this is really something powerful and fascinating. First of all, one begins with the puzzling question of the ontology of sub-personalities. As if reading Jung, one can doubt that any collective unconscious exists doubt that there is any validity whatsoever to archetypes....and yet it does seem to give us a model to make sense of the inner mysteries of the mind....since there really is no firmly established theory of mind nor of the nature of consciousness, one may as well go ahead and give room for a Jungian landscape of animate entities within. From here, through several generations of psychological theory, we get to IFS. Your feelings and drives and opinions and emotions are not merely neural firings of electrons but rather cohesive sub-personalities with each it’s own intentionality and agency, affecting you in myriad ways. One might understand this in parallel with studies of the ego structures, which have powerful influence over the reality we presume ourselves to be immersed in. And yet these are no more than provisional mental structures, beyond a Self can conceivably exist. Take this to a more literal level and you arrive at IFS. Your inner family is quasi-literal, a community of protectors and injured exiles hiding within who mean well but cause us constant strife and pain until they are re-educated by the loving non judgemental true Self of Buddhism (or Hinduism - the Altman). Once this unfettered and healthy seat of consciousness is identified and made the central orchestrator of your life the parts gradually “unblend” (step back) and allow healing to occur by the very proactive leadership of this wise and loving Self. Still with me....it’s really quite something, but I must say this: I was never able to experience a moment of higher consciousness in my half century life until I had an IFS session with a therapist...and then I did. And it really is indescribably good. There really is a non-troubled, seemingly external untainted Self in there. I felt it. Honest. Really. I experienced it. It happened. So, if you just read this and never experienced it it can seem like silly talk, but give in to it, try it yourself of with a therapist, and watch how immensely useful it becomes to you. Now, finally, just like my review, the words go on and on and on. It is a giant model and will take a lot of time and work to internalize and gain traction with. There are steps and processes and intuitions and meditations and and and .....huh. It can get really tiring. But I would just have to say, it’s worth the effort. If you’ve been plowing though self help and psychological spiritual readings for years and feeling still somehow stuck... Turn to this. Really. Try it. It’s different because it really does work. And by the way the language is all common every day easy to understand. No obscure Pali scriptures or lofty abstractions. Done.

This book changed my life, and I can't imagine my life without it. Full stop. I started with an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist a little over 2 years ago, and I found her methods really helpful. She started giving me IFS homework where I would do tiny, mini sessions of connecting with myself and my challenging feelings (anxiety, fear, unworthiness, etc.). That felt helpful too. Being impatient and wanting to heal my childhood wounds faster still, I researched IFS materials and found this book. This book is a textbook, a workbook, and a walkthrough of the IFS process from start to finish -- discovering, connecting with, and healing the parts of you that have emotional wounds (or "burdens") from your past -- and it teaches all of this in simple, easy-to-understand language. The book provides thorough explanations, examples, and exhaustive "what to do if this doesn't work" alternatives and solutions. Since purchasing a year and a half ago, I've read and worked through all but the last 2 chapters, and have used what I've learned with myself as often as 7 times a week, or as little as 5 minutes in a day to create greater calm, inner-peace, and love for myself. Am I completely healed of all childhood trauma? Of course not. But my quality of life is slowly but surely improving in ways I can't begin to measure, and many ways I'm sure I don't yet realize. This book doesn't really offer "quick fixes," so if you're having trouble just getting through the day, you may want to start by seeing a therapist, or if you're not able to, research some emotional exercises; CBT is one methodology that offers a lot of tools and strategies to help regain homeostasis (THIS REVIEW IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE). Though there may be an inescapable spiritual quality in IFS, there is no mysticism or magic. In order for IFS to work you don't need to believe in anyone or anything other than yourself, and your capacity to be curious, to love, and to hold space for compassion. I recommend this to anyone and everyone who wants to fill their life with more peace, love, curiosity, and compassion. If you have any hesitation at all about whether this book is for you, feel free to reach out -- I'm joniokun on ig. (I'm not receiving any money to do this, I just believe in the method.) **CAUTION** I will add a note of caution here that the author and other reviewers have also mentioned: If you experienced serious, deep trauma when you were younger, it may be safer to begin your IFS work with a trained IFS therapist who can help you take baby steps and wade carefully and slowly in from the shallow end, instead of trying to carry the burden all on your own. ♡ Whether or not you choose to buy this book, take care, and know that you are loved, and you are not alone.

This is a very interesting form of therapy. But best with a therapist experienced in the field. The book helps in the understanding but not so easy to do by oneself. There are too many components and variables. My counselor uses this therapy with me and I believe it's helping. It is a long process, as one can have many parts that need to be worked through. We have been working on one part, fear @ anxiety, for several weeks now. I don't think I could do this by myself. But glad I read this for my own understanding of what's going on in my sessions and how to work with my counselor to help bring healing.

I generally think self-help books promise a lot more than they deliver. I've come to believe that this book is an absolute game changer in the world of behavioral medicine. So, how do you know if this book will be helpful for you? "Self-Therapy" is based on Internal Family Systems therapy. (Think--a system of therapy such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but with a rather different approach.) It is geared toward individuals who do what I call "triggering". If you tend to have very turbulent relationships, or keep rehashing past offenses in your head, or get told by your spouse that you act like you have two personalities, or are a pathological people-pleaser, or find yourself frequently repeating that behavior you decided never to do again, or have panic attacks over trivial threats, or are easily hurt or offended, or have been told you are manipulative, or have overwhelming fears of not being believed, being abandoned, not being good enough, etc, then you are probably "triggering". As you progress toward middle age, you will likely find that these behaviors become increasingly problematic in your relationships. If this sounds like you, consider getting this book. I am a family physician and was becoming frustrated with an inability to help my patients with (axis II) personality disorders understand and heal their condition. Meds don't work very well and traditional counseling is only marginally better. I knew how to recognize a patient with a personality disorder, but I didn't understand what caused it or how to explain it to a patient in a way that they 1) believed me, and 2) understood what I was talking about. These patients are often misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder, and before I found IFS I almost never saw someone recover or improve. A social worker directed me to do some research into Internal Family Systems therapy and I eventually stumbled across "Self-Therapy". This book not only helps you diagnose yourself, (ie. "what is causing me to feel and act this way?") but also how to treat yourself. I am gradually coming to believe that Internal Family Systems therapy is the only type of therapy that is more than marginally effective for healing this type of emotional injury. I find myself recommending this book to one of my patients on at least a weekly basis. It doesn't hold the solution for every emotional problem, but it's one of the best tools I've found for my mental health arsenal. If nothing else, it can really help you understand others' behavior better. I initially read this book trying to help my patients. In the end it has also helped my family, my marriage, and my personal happiness. Color me impressed.

This book was my introduction into IFS. It's a superb introduction towards parts work. IFS and Psychosynthesis have completely changed my paradigm on self-understanding. All of those troublesome thoughts, emotions and behaviors are not symptoms to eliminate or work through, they lead to parts than need understanding. I read through this book in less than a week. I could not put it down. The cartoons were actually helpful. Many times you can truly see or feel a younger part arise and even the entire felt sense of being that part may come up, with associated feelings and memories. This understanding is especially helpful to me as a social work student. My work with my own issues has taken off as well as the inner work I do in a spiritual group. Another thing is that I have tried everything to go deeper into my experience and everything has fallen flat until now. Meditation and Focusing are two things I have experimented with for years with only mild results. IFS seems to do what the traditional psychodynamic school has failed to do for generations: do coherent depth work with a coherent way of growth and change without being overly introspective or hairsplittingly theoretical, or overly identified with older parts. I will pursue IFS and parts work further with my future work with clients. Parts work is an understanding that I feel I can work into any mode of therapy I will learn in the future. There were a few points that could have been expanded upon. One is that it is not so easy to be in Self as IFS writers describe. It takes time and work to be able to contact the seed of the observing self and to awaken its qualities. Having said that, it is genius IFS does not follow other experiential therapies and wade knee deep into identification with inner parts. Being able to view parts from that observing, compassionate dimension, is an insight that even the great contemplative traditions have not been able to understand. Note how traditional paths create a superego part to subdue the ego further with their fancy meditative methods. Only Gurdjieff and Almaas have been able to articulate that spiritual paths are not very effective for the vast majority because they don't do inner work from what's already awakened in the person. I also appreciate how the author has a foot in the transpersonal dimension without being overly metaphysical. I tend to dislike how much of the transpersonal camp talks about spiritual matters as proven truths. Another problem is that being an introduction, the author presents IFS work as how it would classically occur when someone is new to parts work, namely that they encounter adult parts hiding younger parts. This is true, but as time goes on, one may encounter younger parts first and must work with distrated or concerned adult parts as they arise. I believe that Schwartz's original book speaks about these different dynamics, also more about "firefighters." Overall, highly recommended just be aware that dynamics between parts are not so linear.

I have had the pleasure of being taught personally by Jay Earley PhD. He is a truly sincere and knowledgeable psychologist, with 30 years of clinical experience. So he really knows what he is writing about. In addition, he has a remarkable talent for taking complex information and making it easy for the lay person to understand. He has done this amazingly well in the book "Self Therapy", making this my book of choice which I recommend to anyone wanting to learn the Internal Family Systems form of therapy. As a therapist myself, I have found this form of therapy to be the most profound and beneficial form of therapy I have ever come across. Readers will enjoy all the transcripts of real therapy sessions, and the help sheets which Jay includes in the book, as well as the numerous drawings in the book which helps illustrate the different parts of a person's psyche. They all work together to make this a fun and easy to follow book, suitable for therapists wanting to learn the IFS system, as well as non-therapists looking to find a powerful way to help themselves. I highly recommend this book, and this form of Self Therapy to anyone who truly wants to change their life for the better. It certainly has helped change mine in a big way, and I have Jay Earley to thank for that. I also recommend Jay's telecourses based on this book. He is truly a masterful writer and teacher. Sandy Therry (M.Couns) Director, The Emotional Healing Centre Perth, Western Australia [...]

To "Know Thyself" because "the unexamined life is not worth living"--this is part of the theme and methodology for this book. There is much more to understand when looking inward than meets the eye. There are many "parts", and some of them are polarized: for instance, the part that "loves to eat too much" is polarized with the "healthy food manager". This polarization leads to a stalemate for many people, making it impossible to lose weight. Our "parts" are individualized and unique to us, and with the right tools, we can learn to hear from them and about them, and find out what they need to heal. We heal them and give them what they need. I have discovered and resolved a lot by using the material in this book in conjunction with IFS phone classes led by Jay Earley and found it the most effective therapy I have ever done. And you learn how to heal yourself with the help of the methods in this book as well as a partner without paying outlandish therapy fees. It is very empowering, satisfying, and opens up a lot of freedom from the patterns that originated in childhood wounds. I highly recommend this book to anyone wishing to understand and heal him/herself. Even without taking the classes, the book makes it easy to understand new things about oneself in a fresh new way. Also, it doesn't have a concept to fit yourself into, as many therapies try to explain the psyche with theories...what you learn is exactly who you are and how you function and think. There is no sense of being "diagnosed" and put into a therapeutic "box". There is direct contact with oneself in a way that is much more articulated and you will understand yourself with compassion, calm, and interest in a way you cannot imagine ahead of time.

I'm giving a five stars both to the IFS therapy and this book. It is very well formatted. There are many repetitions but they never feel like too much. On the contrary, they really drive home the concepts. I've read the second volume and it is a very useful addition to this one.

We are, all of us, made up of many different parts or "sub personalities." In "Self Therapy" the author presents the work of Richard Schwartz. The book is intended to guide readers through understanding how our different parts can cause problems when they perceive themselves as "protectors" guarding child parts they believe need protecting. By getting to know our parts, we can help them understand that their attempts to keep us safe are counter productive. The approach is benign, urging compassion for ourselves and our parts. The book is meant as do-it-yourself therapy, although the author advises that situations may arise in working through the book that would indicate the need for professional help.

An eye opening book. A must read. I feel blessed to encounter this book. Thankyou so much for this amazing book.😇

Questo libro svela, in modo magistrale, una tecnica modernissima di autoterapia. Un libro molto consigliato a chi si vuole accingere per una autoterapia completa veloce ed efficiente. Peccato che non include le moderne tecniche ipnotiche(autoipnotiche) complementari che potrebbero rendere molto piu' efficiente il processo di analisi comprensione e sintesi del programma terapeutico.

I don’t usually buy books from Amazon since we have several good online bookstores in Sweden but this was the best price I could find for this book and with a fast delivery.