Children of the Aging Self-Absorbed: A Guide to Coping with Difficult, Narcissistic Parents and Grandparents Paperback – September 1, 2015

This book was a Game-changer for me! And I am so grateful to Nina Brown for sharing her warm wisdom.I have been struggling for two decades to understand and break through the “spell” of a difficult childhood, to get to the place of “compassionate detachment” with my family of origin. My own values urged me to stay “in contact”, but even phone calls left me reactive and hurting.I’ve run across many excellent authors over the years and benefited from kind, skillful therapy. Undoubtedly there was a cumulative effect in play, and that this was “the right book at the right time”.This book is engaging, clear, infinitely practical, and profound. I found the Exercises hugely instructive & helpful. The constant focus is on teaching the Adult Child the Whys & Hows of protecting him/herself from an Abusive crazy-making Parent.Perhaps my Biggest Take-Away (and there were many ah-hah moments) was this:I am in absolutely unique relationship with Mother.Other people (especially other family members) do not experience her as I do.Given everything, MY Experience is completely understandable and undeniably VALID, even if they don’t understand.A Mountain of Guilt has simply vanished. I no longer feel compelled to defend my point of view to anyone, including me.An investment well worth the time & money! Try it …. and see for yourself.

I am sad to say I needed to read this book and I hope the parent will never find out my amazon review....but it was so helpful and informative. I suppose any and all of us who are lucky enough to have parents that are aging. ( I realize so many have lost their parents, and I am happy I can try to resolve these things for myself while they are still alive!) .... This book helped me figure out the painful patterns, and it validated what I had been feeling since I was in kindergarten but never knew the words! Only the feelings....I have put a few of the suggestions in practice and the past few weeks I have truly felt lighter and more aware, more able to have a relationship more on MY terms.

My elderly self-absorbed parent consumed so much of my life that I didn't find the time to read this until after she was gone. I don' t know for sure if the reading would have helped me during her lifetime, but I do know it helped me with closure after she was gone. This is a very insightful and compelling book on an important and common issue. I recommend it either way.

Terrific. I'm starting to read others on the topic, and this one is very helpful in a practical way. If we do not cut off ties with this person, how do we stop from going even crazier than they have made us? This book gives direct advice and actual exercises for handling the person, and handling the emotions that are sent reeling from the interaction. The guilt feelings from this type of detachment hits me hard, so I wish that were addressed more, but it is in book "will I ever be good enough", daughters of narcissists. Good for men too no doubt. Between two books I feel forearmed for interaction, since my aging parent needs more help and I gotta take the high road and not just change my phone number...sigh

I had high hopes for this book because it seemed dead-on at first, but I just finished it, and basically it just turned out to be a lot of basic information and exercises for people who hadn't had any therapy for, or awareness of, the wily ways of their narcissistic parent. Tons and tons of stuff on how to change your own behavior (because you will never change your parent's behavior), which is all valid, but that's not helpful for those of us who have done research and/or therapy and already have a good handle on how to behave with the narcissistic parent. I really thought the book would start with the premise that the reader knows all about narcissism, and then give a lot more descriptions and information on how AGING changes the narcissist. I didn't get enough of that, just the statements here and there that their already existing traits will just be exaggerated and get worse. Change the title please, to be more accurate. This book is really just basic (albeit thorough) information on how to deal with any narcissist in your life.

I've read many books on this topic and this is by a wide margin the best. Instead of getting mired in the aged parent's point-of-view (which you probably know all too well) it gives practical advice about how to peacefully and simply psychologically separate. Too many books on this subject suggest techniques, exercises or strategies which would only work with rational sane parents and which in the case of narcissistic parents would only draw you further into their personal hell. This book is practical and honest. A great resource!

Lots of good exercises and ideas to help someone figure out how to handle the feelings and life circumstances of an aging self absorbed parent. It's been a very helpful read.

Excellent book! It gave me concrete ideas on how to interact with my narcissistic parent. Also it provided a realistic picture of narcissism; my parent is not likely to change, but I can work to change myself. By changing my approach I can have a better experience with all of the people I interact with.