Would this work for a military crew cut

You’re hair will probably be too short for it to work properly, I’d recommend looking at fiber or paste pomades for shorter hair.

Will make my hair stand put without stiffness stickiness and hevey grease

This will not make your hair stiff. Hair will stay in place and you’ll be able to restyle if needed. It is oil based though so your hair will be greasy how greasy depends on how much you use.

So give it to me straight... Will this make my hair hold in place however I style it?

Depends on the hair style you are going for I love it for a slick back look and it will stay in place while remaining manageable but if u want more like a pomp I'd go with Lockhart's gonzo pomade for a stronger hold

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Water-Based Goon Grease by Lockhart’s – Cult Classic Pomade for Men – High Shine and Stronger Hold For The Slickest Hair On Earth – Perfect For Modern Looks, Curly or Slicked Back Hair (3.4oz)

Water-Based Goon Grease by Lockhart’s – Cult Classic Pomade for Men – High Shine and Stronger Hold For The Slickest Hair On Earth – Perfect For Modern Looks, Curly or Slicked Back Hair (3.4oz)

Product ID: 180212514

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Details

Product Benefits
Strengthening
Hair Type
All
Material Type Free
Paraffin Free
Scent
Citrus Cologne
Liquid Volume
3.4 Fluid

✨High-shine finish for standout style

💧Water-soluble for easy washout

💪Strong, all-day flexible hold

Description

💈 Lock in legendary shine and hold—because your hair deserves the Goon standard.

CRAFTED BY ARTISANS - Handpoured in North America by Lockhart’s, the cult-favorite grooming experts trusted by style connoisseurs.
EFFORTLESS CLEAN UP - Water-based formula rinses out completely with just water—no residue, no hassle.
APOCALYPSE PROOF HOLD - Locks even the wildest hair types in place all day without flaking or stiffness.
VERSATILE STYLING POWER - Perfect for modern slicked-back looks or defining curls with a glossy finish.
NOURISHING BEESWAX BOOST - Infused with natural beeswax to protect hair from heat damage while enhancing hold.

Lockhart’s Water-Based Goon Grease is a 3.4oz premium pomade delivering a firm yet flexible hold with a high-shine finish. Its water-soluble formula ensures easy washout without buildup, while natural beeswax nourishes and protects hair. Ideal for both slicked-back and curly styles, this artisan-crafted pomade is the go-to choice for men seeking a durable, polished look that lasts all day.