The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World

Do you often think of something you should have said after the opportunity has passed? Are others often surprised, finding you to be smarter than they first thought? Has anyone ever said you momentarily looked as if you were in a different world? Do you notice the small details others don't see or many sides of an issue? If so, you may be part of the 20% population known as an "introvert" personality type. (Although I suspect there may actually be more than 20% who have been conditioned by our predominantly extroverted orientated society to fit themselves within the extrovert range of the continuum.) If you are an introvert (and there is a test within this book to find out), you will find your qualities celebrated and appreciated. You will feel vindicated and validated as Dr. Laney dispels myths and misconceptions, such as being shy, antisocial, being a self-absorbed loner, reclusive, retiring, and the myriad of other distortions society (including introverts themselves) may have about introvertism. The main difference between an introvert and an extrovert is in how the two types gain their energy. Introverts focus inward to gain energy and become drained of energy from external sources. Extroverts must draw their energy from outward sources and become drained when they are alone. With their focus outside of themselves, extroverts like to experience a wide variety of stimuli, knowledge and experiences, whereas an introvert enjoys a more in-depth focus. Extroverts take in information but don't process it or expand it. When introverts take in information, they feel a need to reflect on it and expand it for depth, delving deeply for richness. Although extroverts may judge themselves in the light of the values and reality of others, an introvert is not at the mercy of such external environment. Introverts are independent thinkers and idle chit-chat can drain their energy, giving nothing in return. Because extroverts don't generate as much internal stimulation as introverts, they must get it from external sources. Introverts need fewer relationships than extroverts but they like more connection and intimacy within their relationships. Some of the other hallmark traits of introverts are: conscientiousness, good listeners, having the ability to think outside the box, ability to persistently focus well for long periods of time, to notice details others miss, ability to take all sides of an issue into account and being creative in imaginative ways. With at least 60% of the intellectually gifted identified as introverted, there is a definite correlation between introversion and intelligence. The example of Einstein's earliest education proves that a harsh environment can impair an introvert and undercut their potential. Introverts can access their talents, like the ability to concentrate and question, only in a fitting environment. And as Dr. Laney also points out, "Unless they can reduce outside stimulation, their inner thoughts, feelings, and impressions will never bubble up to the surface." One chapter of "The Introvert Advantage" features a fascinating study of brain research and mapping results. Blood travels along different pathways of the brain between introverts and extroverts and the dominant neurotransmitters used are different as well. Other chapters are written about relationships and the pros and cons of the paired combinations of introverts and extroverts, children and their identifiable differences and strategies for helping them succeed, as well as all sorts of tips, tactics and methods for helping yourself nurture this special personality to your fullest advantage. True to form with this statement, "The trick is to help them understand themselves without developing avoidance as a way to cope," Dr. Laney helps without being patronizing, overly simple or indulgent, and she is very thorough in her suggestions for even those most introverted along the spectrum. Although anyone can benefit from reading "The Introvert Advantage: How To Thrive (not "Survive" but "Thrive", mind you) In An Extrovert World" by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., I consider it a must-read for any in counseling or teaching positions. Bravo and thank you, Dr. Laney, for such a thorough and wonderful book!

What a fantastic book. Must read

Up until a few years ago, I never really thought much about the idea that people are either introverts or extroverts. Of course, I noticed that some people are more outgoing than others but I never really considered why exactly that is. Now that I am in my mid 30s and raising a family, I am examining my personality more and thinking about why I am the way I am. When my husband and I started talking about it, we discovered we are both introverts and suddenly, everything made sense! That would explain why I disliked group projects in school so much and why I would dread giving speeches in class. I started becoming more interested in learning about the differences between introverts and extroverts and came upon this book. Let me point out that I have never read other books on introverts so I don't have any others to compare it to. However, I decided the reviews looked good and I should try to branch out of my normal preference for fiction novels so I purchased this book. One of the most interesting facts I immediately picked up in this book is that 75% of people are extroverts which means only 25% are introverts. It makes sense then why so many of our daily activities are more extrovert-centered and why introverts may think something is wrong with them. The truth is, there is nothing wrong with introverts. This book helps to explain that the brains of introverts and extroverts are different and thus, we process everything at different speeds and different ways. While I was reading this book, I could picture some of my friends and family who fit the personality traits of those mentioned in the book and it made it easier for me to understand the information presented. I like how the book is organized, even though at times some of the information seemed a bit daunting. The book is organized in three parts and within those three parts are a total of ten chapters. The book starts about by defining the ways in which introverts differ from extroverts then goes on to discuss ways in which we can thrive in the "outie" (extrovert) world but at the same time still be ourselves. There are sections for handling relationships, parenting, friendships, and jobs which I found helpful since I can go back and read a section that I feel is particularly useful to me. I enjoyed the author's occasional humor inserted into the book which added a little bit of zest for me. In the beginning the author states that you can read the book cover to cover or skip around and read whichever sections sound appealing. I chose to read the entire book and, because I am used to reading fiction novels from cover to cover, I didn't anticipate just how much information I would be taking in all at once with more of a self-help type of book. It probably would have been more beneficial to me to read a chapter here and there so I could have more time to process all of the interesting information. I will most likely just go back and reread the sections I want to review. Overall, I found this book to be a good resource so I can understand more about myself and how I can tweak certain things I do in order to still enjoy social activities and thrive out in the world without having to exhaust my energy constantly. This book would be a good read for any introvert wanting to learn more about their personality as well as extroverts who want to understand how introverts work. It certainly helped me to understand personalities a bit more and how I can interact with extroverts and still enjoy my own activities. I'm proud to be an introvert!

A must read book for all students in psychology as well as sociology. Those already in the profession or vocation should read as well. Perhaps some treated symptoms are not needing treatment at all, but rather, an explanation to a patient as to how being an introvert can seem as a problem when it is not understood by the person who has these qualities. This book gives a very readable understanding of the "introvert" as well as the "extrovert". The differences in "energy" that one uses and how you "charge" yourself up is right on target. Those who are in the understanding of the spiritual nature of our being will understand this "energy" concept. Couples should also read this as it will give great enlightenment to their relationship if the two are opposites with one being an introvert and the other an extrovert. Could save many an arguement and let down. Parents should also read this to learn what "type" of child they have to better understand the "why" of how they act. Teachers and educators should read this book so as to understand how a student composes information of learning and that different approches are NEEDED based on these differences. Being an introvert, the likes of word problems, algebra, and geometry were "concepts" I could never grasp because I think in pictures. How does a letter of the alphabet equal a number (x = 2 or 2 = x) when letters and numbers are different things like an apple or orange?! There are only 26 letters and there are an infinite number of numbers. What letter do you use once you used them all up? And why was it always "xyz" and "abc"? I never saw "mno" or "stu". HaHaHa. Sounds silly now, but it wasn't so silly then. I was a top student excelling in many areas, but failed miserably in this area. I put in countless hours staying after school trying to get help from my teacher. I got a "D" just because I tried so hard to understand that which I could not. No one knew why and they called it a "mental block". Now I know why. I was not "mental", I just could not connect with the abstraction of this type of math problems. But back then, I believed I had had some type of "mental" problem, that I was not "right" like everyone else because I did not understand why I just could not grasp math like everyone else. Well, I guess I wasn't "right" like everyone else.....I was "right" as me! This book is a must in many areas that can benefit, especially the introverts. The book tells you how to cope, adjust, accept, and stand your ground as being an introvert. Its great being different and its even greater when you understand that its just another way of being "normal".

I read my first life changing book when I was 19 and and it took me another 20 years to find the second. In certain situations I stayed introvert and I was very uncomfortable because I always thought myself as extrovert growing up. Now I raise little children needing to interact with their classmates’ parents pretty often, I started become more aware and stressed and interactimg with people became burdensome. Now that I read this book, I learned I was kind of in the middle of the introvert/extrovert spectrum and I flip floped acting either introvert or extrovert. Now I see why I was the way I was and learned actually I was more introvert than I thought I was. Then an amazing thing happened. I became very comfortable with myself and that freed me. Interacting with others is not a burden at all any more, it’s easy and enjoyable and I know they feel it too. I can still be introvert, but don’t become shy(lack of comfidence) any more and I’m happy and grateful. I have a friend who was very introvert, but always has been a leader had this puzzle in her whole life wondering how and why she’s the way she was. And we learned she never fliped from very inteovert to very extrovert, but alway has been very introvert with those qualities and skills to appear to be extrovert. It’s only been few months since I read this book, but this book did change my life and I’m 40. (you know what I mean?!) I read this book to better understand my introvert child and I never thought it would do such a favor for me. I highly recommend this book for everyone. Even if you are super extrovert, you’d still have special someone(friend, child or spouse) in your life who’s introvert you can’t quite understand. If you are somewhat extrovert, you might get really suprised, learn a lot about yourself and get a positive life changing experience like I did. If you are very introvert and this book might not change you much like it didn’t to my best friend, but you might find peace and wouldn’t that worth it? Good luck!

I first learned of this book while I was @ my dentist's office, and one of the receptionists commented to me that she was an introvert. Really,I said,I've been told that I'm an introvert as well. However anyone can see that I love to talk and enjoy interaction with others and I am anything but shy. She replied that being an introvert dosen't necessarly mean you're shy. That's when she recommended this book! Enough background and now for my take on the book. I found a lot of perceptive insights as to what makes one an Introvert versus an Extrovert and how one might identify these traits in ourselves as well as in those we know in our everyday lives. The author's explanation as to what makes any of us an Innie or an Outtie was further obviscated when she introduced another qualifying factor: left lobal brain versus right lobal brain influences. That changes the equation as to how one might be classified. I found her claim that 25% of the population are Introverts and the other 75%, you guessed it, are Extroverts; to be very interesting. Sometimes it's nice to be a minority! Something else sorta bothered me. While the title of the book is: The Introverts Advantage, the author spent a great deal of space in the book trying to explain how we could overcome our "affliction", and be more acceptable to the extrovert community. Frankly Scarlet; I don't give a damn! I'm quite happey the way I am...I don't have any desire to conform to someone else's idea of a happy go-lucky well-met sort! All in all it was a worth while read and I would do it again. I do think this tome could have been cut in half and still deliver the meat of the message.

"The Introvert Advantage" is my go-to book on anything about introverts. I am an Introvert and because of this book, I finally was able to stop feeling like a round peg in a square hole. A key part of the book is the explanation of the science and physiology (the Introvert's longer neural pathway and damping down Acetylcholine effect on brain chemistry) behind the Introvert temperament, while also addressing the Dopamine-dominant Extrovert temperament. I'm not being willful, lazy, nor pathological that it takes me awhile to shift gears between events, come up with something to say, figure something out, often get easily pooped out by parties, prefer small groups with meaningful conversations (small talk, UGH!) outings with a few friends, and the need to re-charge my energy battery often by solitary pursuits. Really, I'm not lonely nor isolating! This book describes the true differences between Extroverts (outies) and Introverts (innies) and gives concrete suggestions for working with and making the most of the Introvert's longer neural pathway, plus how to more easily get along in the midst of the mostly Extroverted-dominant world around us Introverts, such as pacing energies, setting boundaries and priorities, learning to say more appropriately "yes" and "no" to requests (and demands), and that all-so-important "maybe"! There are many books out there on Introverts, even some very good ones. I found "The Introvert Advantage" to be one of the best of them all. If you're an Introvert, you won't be disappointed.

Interesting read about introverts, but this is a case of not one size fits all. I find the author making too many generalizations about introverts that simply don't fit everyone. For example, she talks about introverts being slow in decision making and generally living life at a slower pace. I consider myself an introvert and that's certainly doesn't fit me. However, there is a lot of interesting and useful information in here. Many times I found myself going, yeah, that's me!! On the other hand, her suggestions on how to handle situations sometimes seemed a bit bizarre and I can't imagine using them. Some of it you may skip over if it doesn't fit your needs (for example, if you don't have kids.) The info itself is nothing "new" -- I discussed the book with my husband and he said he read a book 20 years ago with a lot of the same info. I also found it humorous that the author didn't seem up on new technology -- she talked about using a "Walkman" several times! (this was written in 2002, but I think most people stopped using Walkmans in the 90's!!) That being said, still a good book and worth reading. It will certainly give you insight on why you behave the way you do (if you're an introvert, even if you don't fit her description to a T) or will help you understand a loved one or friend who is an introvert.