Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, and Unapologetically Being Yourself

This book was exactly what i needed, and I continue to go back to it. I read on kindle first which is probably good because the length was less intimidating. But I bought the paperback So I could go back through the chapters and reread hearts that I need. I will continue to go back to this book and review the concepts and exercises. Two help develop my ability to be not nice. I don't mind the repetition and informal tone; it made it fun to read and helps the concepts stick.

If you put into action what you are taught in this book, everyone will benefit. When you think about the leaders and mentors that you admire around you, they all have the ability to be authentic and composed. Confidence comes with unapologetically knowing who you are and having the courage to express it. I will be recommending this book to others who have social anxiety and are trapped in people pleasing prison. Break free from your “self-cell”and apply these techniques. It is a bulky book with just the right amount of words. I couldn’t put it down. This will be a book that I read once a year. I never post reviews, but for such a life changing book, I had too. Plus, maybe it had a little bit to do with the possibility of others judging my review. Not anymore my friends.

I'm in my late 50s and just discovered this book. Wow, I could have used this book 40 years ago! But, I'm enthused to benefit from this valuable information and practical advice for the next 40 years. Although I can't relate to everything about being too nice, there are many areas where I can and am already applying what I've learned. That said, I like the first half of the book better than the rest. The second half is a bit verbose and often difficult to relate to. Overall, great book, but could have been written in less than 300 pages.

The author’s personal experience with being too nice and his anecdotes about his efforts to change being nice are very helpful and relatable. The exercises he gives make a huge difference. As he points out, if you just read the book without doing the work it’s not gonna make you stop putting other’s needs before your needs. I’ve learned a tremendous amount from this book and have made significant changes in how I relate to people, no longer believing I’m responsible for their happiness while they are only interested in making themselves happy. I followed the golden rule of doing onto others as I would have them doing to me expecting them to do the same in return. They didn’t. They took advantage of my goodness. This book opened my eyes to no longer believing people are selfless like I was. I know lots of people who think they are selfless, but are really selfish. They are also people who believe their victims because they don’t get their way but it’s just because they believe they have to get their way. I learned it’s my turn to get my way, to do what I want, and not let other people have their way just because they want it.

Love this book, read it last year and I think I'm gonna read it again this year.I still use the affirmations taught in this book, as well as some of the personal rights that apply to me.People can tell when someone isn't being authentic and it's uncomfortable being around a people pleaser. I was reading this book while at a remote job site and I began to notice myself trying to be a people pleaser, playing "nice" instead of being authentic, and I noticed other people doing it as well and it always created awkward situations.This book gave me the confidence to be more authentic while still being positive; to express myself while still respecting others, and that definitely created less awkward situations for me. I change the subject and end conversations when I want now and I do it all without feeling unnecessary guilt. It taught me not to replay conversations in my head wondering if I said something I shouldn't have said(a sign you're a people pleaser), as well as many other things.How? By helping me realize that I wasn't being myself in so many situations, then helping me SET my personal rights and boundaries so that I may start being authentic and continue to become better at being authentic.There's a huge sense of freedom when being authentic. So if you're tired of playing "nice" and ready to start feeling free, then this book is for you!

This a very good read with so much information. I’ll have to read it atleast one more time to really digest everything but definitely worth your time.

This book was very interesting to read and learn from. Definitely recommend to anyone on their healing journey of being a people pleaser.